Jeff you are so ugly looking the President of the United States wouldnt do you.

i saw the testimonials for your new book, so the only people who bothered to to write a quick testimonial are racist celebrites and untalented comedians?

Jeff, you are my favorite comedian,big fan.

Here is my roast contribution, it's harsh and hard but it should be right up your alley and if anyone can take it, it's you:

Hey Jeff, is that a picture of your grandfather, you know, the one that didn't make the Shindler's list?

Huge fan.

Let's hear it for Jeff Ross everyone! The only jew in the business who is NOT funny. Jeff how long have you been rocking that beard? It looks like terrible, its like you gave bigfoot a rim job. You are so ugly, Lisa Lampinelli wouldn't #@*%! you.
Seriously though, I read your book and loved it and I got my first roast coming up for my buddy who is moving to texas. You have been a big inspiration to me and I wish you the best.

Who's Jeffrey Ross?

Well I'm not a very funny dude but I imagine Milton Berle would say something along the lines of
I suppose it's not nice to make jokes about you being fat, but it doesn't make any difference. You can't catch me.
or
Jeff Ross finally broke off his love affair with comedy so now he's able to go back to his first love---himself
or
Jeff Ross----With the right amount of training, he could be a nobody.

Sorry I had nothing original.

Jeff, why are you raising your right leg? Was it more comfortable than both of them down? It's not like you're hiding anything anyway. If Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton, Jenna Jameson, and Kendra all don't want to F*CK you, there's probably a reason.

Jeff, I've heard you say that Newark Airport is like the Newark of Airports. You're like the Newark of comedians.

Was that photo taken pre or post your Nashville Airport security anal probe???