July 29, 2010, 10:35 pm
I wanna take over for Ellen on Idol.
July 27, 2010, 8:50 pm
Spending the day writing Hasselhoff jokes. Either kill me or give me a decent premise.
July 12, 2010, 4:04 pm
Mel Gibson is almost out of groups of people to piss off. Watch our Peruvians. You might be next.
July 8, 2010, 5:31 pm
Hey Roasters, It's with a mixture of shame and excitement that I announce I'll be roasting The Hoff on Comedy Central this summer. Who's in?
July 4, 2010, 4:00 am
Happy 4th! Watch your fingers.
July 2, 2010, 3:11 pm
My agent just called! Big meeting with Mel Gibson next week! Happy 4th everybody!
June 29, 2010, 6:57 pm
War sucks. Support our troops by supporting the USO. http://tinyurl.com/2ck56cj
June 20, 2010, 4:48 am
Happy Motherf*%kers Day!
June 17, 2010, 3:17 pm
Anybody in Connecticut tomorrow? I'll be there too! Come get roasted and toasted at the Ridgefield Playhouse. http://tinyurl.com/22uzlhq
June 1, 2010, 5:15 pm
I'm so incredibly honored by this I had to change my undies.... Jeffrey Ross Keeps It Funny on the Frontlines: http://wp.me/pD3AV-Iv